Alcohol is a very necessary article...  It makes life bearable to millions of people who could not endure their existence of they were quite sober.  It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
           -- George Bernard Shaw

An Exercise in Logic
When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whisky over ice, it can give you heart trouble.
When you drink gin overr ice, it can give you brain problems.
   Apparently, ice is really bad for you!
     -- anon

According to the surgeon general, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy, because of the risk of birth defects resulting in more politicians.
              -- anon

Alcohol is closely linked with virtually every negative aspect of society:  suicide, violent crime, birth defects, industrial accidents, domestic and sexual abuse, homelessness, death, and disease.  It is the  #1 drug problem for people from all walks of life.  It is #1 among Whites, African-Americans,, Native-Americans, and Hispanics, and it's #1 among poor people and rich people, men and women, and young and old people alike.
                            -- Hazelden News

The Buffalo Hypothesis

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And, when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the entire group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
     In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Drinking alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But naturally, alcohol attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficien machine.  That's why you always feel smarter after having a few beers.
                 -- story line from the "Cheers" television program
Put out that final cigarette, and your health will improve in just 20 minutes.  That's all the time in takes to see a drop in blood pressure and pulse rate.  Your risk of a heart attack decreases in 24 hours.  Your ability to taste and smell is enhanced in 48 hours.  Two weeks after quitting, your lung function will improve.  After a month, you will notice less coughing, your sinuses will be clearer, and you will have more energy.  One year after quitting, an ex-smoker's risk of developing coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's.  Within 5 years, the risks of dying fiom lung cancer or of develping cancer of the mouth, throat, or eosophagus are half that of a smoker's; 15 years after stopping, an ex-smoker's risks for developing lung cancer or coronary heart disease drop to those of a life-long non-smoker.  When it comes to enjoying better health, the sooner you quit, the sooner you start.
                   -- American Cancer Society

Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by its Maker!

“I cast my vote against social drinking.  I will not keep a dog in my house that bites every five or nine people who stop to pet it.  Nor will I sanction alcohol because it harms just one of every five, nine, or sixteen people who drink it.”
-- Upton Sinclair, reformer

In some college towns there is a traditional “green beer day,” more-or-less coinciding with
St. Patrick’s Day.  Anti-drinking groups sometimes sponsor a competing “green tea day.”

'Tis Rum, 'Tis Rum, My Child 
What means that bloated, reddened face?
That staggering gait, devoid of grace?
The fetid breath, those blood-shot eyes?
Dost thou inquire? -- a voice replies:
     'Tis rum, 'tis rum, my child!
What means that woe-worn mother's tears?
How pale and wretched she appears!
Her heart is sad, it must be so:
What is the cause of all her woe?
     'Tis rum, 'tis rum my child!
Those tattered children, see them stand,
To hear their father's stern command;
What makes him beat and scold them so?
Tell me, my mother if you know;
     'Tis rum, 'tis rum my child!
Then, mother, let us all unite,
To drive rum off, far out of sight --
Then will not joy and comfort come,
To cheer that wretched mother's home?
     Oh yes, oh yes my child!

“When the Wine enters, out goes the Truth.” — Ben Franklin

“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at the tax collector—and miss.”

Many early members of the American labor movement were temperance advocates. Terence Powderly, for example. AFL leader Samuel Gompers prevented serious discussion of the issue, however, because it was divisive -- he would not have been able to persuade brewery and distillery workers to join his union, if it had advocated sobriety. T.V. Powderly was a first generation Irish-American who led the nation's first industrial union, the Knights of Labor. He was a die-hard temperance advocate at a time when the majority of the "demon rum" crowd were middle-class Protestants. (ref.: R.A. Harris, The William Paterson University of New Jersey).

The newspaper USA Today on 22 June 2002 reported that there are now commercial wineries in all 50 states. Clearly, the tide has not yet turned in our favor!

The following anonymous poem, which came from a friend of a friend of a friend, etc., states very well the Prohibition party attitude toward alcoholism: Alcoholism is not a disease that happens to people, it is the result of willful, reckless behavior. When we accept responsibility for our behavior and change our behavior, we become free from alcoholism.


I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in. I am lost; I am helpless, it isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it. I fall in, again.
I can't believe I'm back in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there. I fall in; it is a habit.
But my eyes are open.
I know where I am; it is my fault.
I find a way out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

I walk down a different street.

(speaking of National Prohibition) “An experiment, noble in motive and far-reaching in purpose.” — Herbert Hoover (1928 campaign)

According to the Russian Vodka Museum, in St. Petersburg, Prince Vladimir chose Christianity as the official state religion of Russia in 988, because Christianity allowed believers to drink every day, not just on holidays. "Drink is the joy of the Russians."

Scott Peterson, writing in The Christian Science Monitor (13 June 2001) states that " the Soviet era, alcohol had mixed reviews.Lenin reportedly said that 'vodka and other poisons will lead us back to capitalism.' Stalin portrayed alcoholism as tantamount to economic sabotage, and one official study in 1923 -- the year total prohibition was lifted -- calculated that the grain wasted in brewing illegal moonshine ... could have saved thousands from starving."

"Mikhail Gorbachev launched his own war against drunkenness in the '80s, but though the tough restrictions he imposed improved health appreciably, they carried a high political cost."

“Drink is commercially our greatest wastrel; socially it is our greatest criminal; morally and religiously it is our greatest enemy.” — Albert Schweitzer

The alcohol problem

  (editor note: Let it never be said that we are incapable of recognizing the humor of our opponents' arguments, as revealed in the following...)

The horse and mule live thirty years,
Yet know nothing of wines and beers.

Most goats and sheep at twenty die,
And have never tasted Scotch or rye.

A cow drinks water by the ton,
So at eighteen is mostly done.

The dog in milk and water soaks,
And then in twelve short years he croaks.

You modest, sober, bone-dry hen,
Lays eggs for nogs, then dies at ten.

All animals are strictly dry,
They sinless live and swiftly die.

But sinful, ginful, beer-soaked men,
Survive three-score years and ten.

While some of us, though mighty few,
Stay sozzled till we're ninety-two.

— anon

[Although the foregoing is true, it is incomplete. The lifespan of man,
while long and often soaked in alcohol, is inversely proportional to alcohol
consumption: Statistically, the more you drink, the younger you will die.
The alleged "benefit" from drinking red wine comes from flavenoids in the
skins of the grapes, not from the alcohol per se. The benefit
from flavenoids can safely be otained by eating fresh grapes or by drinking
fresh grapejuice. Bon appetit!]`

A 'Dear Abby' newspaper column published about 1 December 05 calls attention to the foolish, dare-devil rite of passage known as "21 for 21," -- the attempt to drink 21 shots (or equivalent) of whisky on one's 21st birthday.  When done in the space of a few hours, this results in acute alcohol poisoning and death.  It is thought that several dozen otherwise intelligent young people inadvertently commit suicide each year by celebrating their legal adulthood in this way.

Bottled Badinage, by Merry Harris

"At being intellectual or a wit,
     Let it be known I am no whiz,
Oh were I half as smart or cool,
     As any drunkard knows he is."

  "To put alcohol in the human brain is like putting sand in the bearings of an engine."
— Thomas Edison, inventor

  "Nothing has corrupted the legislation of the country more than the use of intoxicating drink." — Thomas Jefferson, founding father